I have not posted anything in a while. I have been busy looking for work. I had a job I loved, but the economy hit it and there is just no work for me right now. I was going to write about something else (again) but circumstances have left me thinking about following a dream vs. responsibility, so I am following my thought pattern…
I dreamed of being a writer. It has been my dream since high school, one that I have ignored and put off for the sake of security and money. I had no confidence in my writing ability and until recently did not think much of what I wrote. I never showed my writing to many people because I was afraid they would say I was just an “average” writer and I didn’t want to have my dream dashed. Within the last year, not only have I gained confidence, I have also started showing my work, sending my stories to publishers (nothing doing yet) and even working as a freelance writer…something I never dreamed was possible. I was living my dream and it was wonderful! I was able to supplement my support checks from my ex and give the kids what they needed. Here comes the responsibility part…the job is gone, for now. So now what do I do?
Do I continue trying to make a living as a writer, putting out proposals and scrounging for writing jobs? Writing articles and sending them out in the hope that a magazine will pick it up? It’s not as glamorous as I thought it would be, but then again, I thought I would be doing it with a firm foundation under me, that it would be a second income…I didn’t think I would be trying this as a single mother of 3 trying to make ends meet. The other choice is to go back to teaching, which I love but a field in which jobs are scarce right now.
I’m a good teacher, a creative teacher. I truly care for my students and do my best for them, just as I expect them to do their best for me. I can make a living and have security as a teacher…but should I give up on my dream of being a writer?
When does responsibility overtake passion? The only answer I have to that is – responsibility overtakes passion when reality hits you in the face; besides, who says you can't be passionate about more than one thing? Reality hits you when you have someone else depending on you and looking to you to be everything and supply everything for them. Dreams don’t die and they don’t fade if you don’t let them. There is a time to dream and a time to live in reality. This is my time to live in reality. If I can’t make a living as a writer right now, that only means that my timing is off, not that my dream is wrong. I can teach and still write and submit articles at the same time, but my priority must be my family. My time to try to make it as an author will come…right now; it’s my children’s time and they are my main priority. I'm looking forward to getting back into the classroom and teaching what I know about reading, writing and researching to my students. Who knows, maybe I will inspire a budding author or two!
So....anyone need a good elementary school teacher?
Very well writen!
ReplyDeleteKeep up the writeing!!!
As the saying goes, one door close and one opens for you.
Always here as your friend.
Wow, you may be able to writte but your feind abov sure cannt. :-P
ReplyDeleteOk, there is no need to be mean on here. The constructive criticism was meant for me, not others!
ReplyDeleteWell written. You gotta do what you gotta do to pay the bills. If you have the time and energy, try working on your dream the nights you do not have the kids. I had read about an artist who started a blog to log her journey to reach her dream. She would share her work and progress. Next thing she learned is that soon other artists and businesses were getting involved. Unfortunately I cannot recall the blog but I am sure you could search for similar blogs from writers and start networking and seeing how your blog could help you. I have also read about people getting enough people to follow their blogs that advertisements/endorsements on their blogs were enough to bring in extra cash and sometimes become their job. My two cents anyways...
ReplyDeleteWell written Suzy, but I would also say that your passion and responsibility do not have to be compete with each other at all times. Your responsibility to your children is a passion, it may not be your only passion, but it's a passion that can be your fuel for your search for the right fit.
ReplyDeleteRealize that some of the most successful people and companies were built during a recession much like this one that we are experiencing. A time when people were laid off and were at a point of crossroads where they were struggling like you to support their families. These individuals ended up finding the ability to pursue their passions and in the process found a way to support their families through these dreams.
I'm not pretending to know all the answers or even suggesting this is easily, but continue to chase your dream of writing because if your children were, one day, in your situation you'd hope that they'd continue to still pursue their dreams even while they buckled down to a job they didn't really want to be able to care and provide for their families.